This week I met up with an old friend after a gap of several years. We have kept in touch over a long time by letter but she took me to task over the tone of these . “You always seem so upbeat “ she said, “ you always seem to sound happy even when the going gets tough!” Being accused of sounding like Pollyanna I reassured her that I too had very down days when I was as grumpy and growly as the next person but that I had found it helpful to cultivate an accepting approach to life’s many challenges because ultimately such an approach made me feel happier.

Daoists have known for a very long time that being miserable causes our Chi energy –our life force, to contract and that this has an impact on our health and well being. Conversely when we feel happy our energy expands, we feel relaxed and the flow of Chi increases. And of course we always have a choice as to how we feel. Either I can choose to connect with and accept my reality or I can choose to deny it and wish it wasn’t happening. Lets look at these two very different approaches –two different ways of viewing life.

When I wake up I can feel my body as stiff and heavy. I can choose to remind myself that these are the late effects of polio and that as I age things will get worse. Looking out of the window I can see the sky leaden grey with dark rain clouds gathering and I can wish that the sun was shining. Hobbling into the kitchen I can curse my weak limbs as I try to juggle my stick and my mug of tea on my way back to bed. Now I am angry with my body as I feel it has failed me. I wish I was filled with the vibrancy of my younger days and I imagine the day ahead as one filled with obstacles. I feel disempowered and weak. Living in this way, forever wishing that things were different than they are, I am constantly filing all experiences into two trays –good or bad—particularly seeing the past as good and the present as bad. How different would I feel if I simply accepted my experience instead of always defining it as good or bad? Would I perhaps feel better, happier?

Instead of the above scenario I could choose to wake up and decide to go with the flow of my life. I feel and am aware of the stiff, heaviness of my body and I accept and acknowledge its fragility with kindness and understanding. I am also aware of the way my body sinks comfortably into the softness and comfort of my warm cosy bed. Looking out of the window I see the dark clouds but I accept them rather than labelling them as “bad”—they simply exist. Hobbling into the kitchen I feel the cold linoleum under my feet and know I am connected to reality –I heed the sensation, it is neither good nor bad –it just is. Next I make my tea and savour the warmth of my mug as I hobble back to bed. Spilling a little of the liquid I simply notice that there is a spillage and will clear it up later. Back in bed, looking out the window, drinking tea, I accept my reality without labelling it as “good” or “bad” and I relax and feel content. I am not comparing my lot with anyone else or with the fitter me of yesteryear, I am simply accepting the truth of what is happening right now. Sipping my tea I feel happy, my chi expands and I smile at the day ahead –whatever challenges it may hold.

In the way described above I go with the flow – I accept and am aware fully of my reality with all its challenges and in so doing I relax, unwind and know contentment –another word for happiness.

A study undertaken by Robert Biswas-Diener* among the homeless and slum dwellers of Calcutta found that in many spheres of life their satisfaction level was virtually on a par with university students. Sociologists explain this by the fact that these slum dwellers have let go of aspiring to improve their status and are easily satisfied when they obtain the basics in life such as food. In other words they are accepting of their reality and feel content. On the other hand it is probably true to say that if the millionaire in his penthouse is constantly striving and competing to acquire more then, in his discontent he will be more prone than the slum dwellers of Calcutta to unhappiness. Contentment through acceptance of your status quo is ultimately therefore the key to happiness.

Here is a Daoist meditation to encourage contentment and happiness and so help your energy to expand and flourish

The Inner Smile

• Sit on a chair with straightened spine and closed eyes. Inhale slowly through your nose and gently exhale through your mouth .Do this several times.
• As you inhale feel a movement all the way down to the Dan Tien – the energy centre just below the naval. Allow your abdomen to expand as your diaphragm moves down in a full breath, then let your abdomen relax as you exhale completely. Breathe continuously, with no pauses between the exhalation and the inhalation.
• As you breathe smile into your naval and Dan Tien and then bring your awareness into your Heart area.
• Feel the flame of love deep within your Heart—a warm light that is your deepest , most real Self. Smile into your Heart centre and feel a healing light radiating out to all the cells of your Heart.
• Now turn your awareness to each of your organs in turn –stomach and spleen, lungs and intestines, kidneys and bladder, gall bladder and liver and smile into each organ whilst breathing deeply and feeling calm and peaceful.
• Come back to the Heart and rest there feeling the Inner Smile harmonising and balancing your energy and be aware of feeling happy and content.

SOURCES

*R. Biswas-Diener and E Diener , “Making the best of a bad situation; satisfaction in the slums of Calcutta.” Social Indicators Research 2002

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Vicki Mckenna trained at The College of Traditional Chinese Acupuncture in Leamington Spa with Professor Worsley from 1981 gaining her Lic Ac. in 1984 and has been practicing acupuncture in Scotland since then. She is author of “A Balanced Way of Living”. You can contact her at balancedway@hotmail.co.uk

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